Relationships Etcetera
Red Haired Woman sad about her relationships, standing on the train tracks.

Relationships and Pain Should Be Synonymous

· We are only human ·

February 27, 2017 0 Comments

In regards to relationships, when I hear someone say..."I will never hurt you," I often wonder if they are setting themselves up for failure in the future by creating unrealistic expectations and false illusions of themselves.

Is dishonesty in relationships intentional? Probably not. “I will never hurt you,” Simply rolls off your tongue when you’re attempting to prove your worth to someone you’re interested in. Like….”Yo, I really want her to like me...what can I do or say to convince her/him to like me back?” So you say the things she/he wants to hear.

However, even in the most successful and happy relationships you will find pain, hurt, even a little dishonesty. Meaning…




I believe if we are honest with ourselves from the start about the relationships we go into, and keep it “100” with whoever we decide to bring into our lives about who we are, [imperfect beings], a more realistic perspective will occur and a person can make an informed and more educated decision on whether they can handle your humanism. God is great, however, he created us as humans… we make mistakes… it’s inherently built into our DNA.

A man in a wheat field, with his head down, who sad about his relationships.

Photo Credit: Matthew Henry

Simply tell the other person who want to have the relationship with that, you have the best of intentions, but at some point I will probably hurt you… not intentionally, but because I’m human and I make mistakes. This is by no means a disclaimer or “get-out-of-jail-free” card used to do whatever you want. It is simply showing the other person your transparency and imperfection. You are showing them, who you are. Not someone you are not.

Finally, for some, one of the hardest things to show is originality. To be yourself in a world full of copycats.  But I believe originality is more respectable. Someone who came to me and says, “I’m not perfect,” “I will make mistakes,” is a person I’d take more seriously than someone who says…”I won’t hurt you.” Relationships are not perfect, so why expect perfection?

You have to respect that in a world of people who consistently show you their representative self.

Jay Thomas

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